Alright. So here's the deal. Last Tuesday afternoon (7/31/07) I was standing on the hood of my Altima in the garage trying to hoist myself into the attic in hopes of finding a plastic mattress cover. Why the mattress cover you ask? I'll tell you why. Because I had 2 relatives coming late that night (2am to be exact) and with them came little Lexi who's been known to wet the bed.I'd found out earlier that the step ladder wasn't going to do it. So after jumping up and down from the hood of my car to no avail and finding myself dangling dangerously from the tiny attic opening several feet above the car hood (a last attempt to hoist myself up into the dark hole proved futile since it required the equivalent to a chin up and my arm strength just isn't there yet) I finally borrowed a ladder from the leasing office since that last "dangling, flailing leg thing" scared me just a bit and made me think, "Hmm...I just might break something. I don't think this is good..."
So where did that sweet undereye bruise come from?...Well, I'll tell you where it came from. The leasing manager lady's last words to me as I left the office with a giant ladder tucked under my arm were, "Don't hurt yourself!"
"I'll try not to!" We both giggled & laughed as I went on my merry way.
Good 'ole Altima was in the way of the ladder so I got in the car, backed it up a bit, and got out of the car, ready to get this show on the road and get that stupid mattress cover.
So. Did I fall off the ladder?
No.
Of course not.
That would be completely typical.
What I did was get out of the car and
BAM!
Rammed my FACE right into Jon's stupid mountain bike hanging upside down from the ceiling right next to the driver's side door.
-Thanks a lot-
Needless to say, my "natural" reflex took over. My right hand instinctively flew to my right eye as it scrunched up complete with an "AH!! S**T!!"
It hurt.
It stung.
It hurt and stung.
The first thing I thought was, "I'm gonna get a black eye."
And if I was gonna get a black eye, it'd better be a good one. What's the use of having one if you're not gonna go all out? I'm talkin' black and green crater all around the eye socket and into the cheek.
But noooo.
So all that for this teeny little football player undereye stripe.
And yes, I got the darn mattress cover.
And yes, Lexi did pee on the bed.
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Above names have been changed
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